Work is ok. They got me learning how to ship the product out now with ups and FedEx. I was happy. B/c since Herdis got hurt and can't work I wanted to do shipping. But they pick JOSE to do it. He is a retard. Shipping is easy. And he still can't get it. I already learned how to receive jewelry into the company computer system. I'll be mainly doing that in about a week and a half while the guy Efrain go on vacation. So if I can get there on time from now on. Maybe they will hired me as a perm worker in two months. It's fun working there. My co-workers are crazy. All with dirty lil minds. Just like mines. We be in there cracking up on stuff. Today I was crying laughing twice b/c of what ppl said. It sounded so nasty. I'm kind of liking the guy Efrain but he likes this girl named Kamala. He and I always be joking around. And now I start to notice he looking at me diff. The other day I swear I turned and he was staring at me. This thing we do reminds me of the movie the Secretary. If you haven't seen it go get and watch it. I am in love with that movie. They way we be talking is like we have some S&M thing going on. I never thought I could be the submissive. But I can be and like it. He be calling me women. And that just drives me insane. I really like the way we says it. The other day he was stapling some papers and just that alone got me horny. Yeah I'm crazy. He be joking telling me to raise my hand if I have something to say. Now I stop him right in his track before he can speak and tell him speak don’t say nothing. Friday. I told him I'm going to hurt him, How do he want me to hurt him? He looked at me and said don’t make promises I can't keep. I told him oh I can't keep them don’t worry. That was after he said to me "do you want to die?"

If your reading this and thinking I better watch out he may hurt me. It's not like that. ok Were joking in a sexual kind of way. Yes I'm weird I know. but that want gets me off ok. One day I was over at his computer being trained and he was talking to me, we was so close I wanted to kiss him so bad. He knows I like Manson so everytime we’re working together he starts to sing Beautiful People. So much more to tell I can't remember everything right now.

Also I like the guy Dre that sits at the front dress, scans us and do security. He's cute. We be talking and joking around too. Both of them are Spanish. L told me I'm not going to end up with a black guy. More then likely he will be spanish. She said b/c that's who I mainly go for too. It's true. Most of the guys I like are spanish.

Anyway I have come to the conclusion that I am lonely. I thought I was before for many years. But now I see I was not that lonely. It hit me the other day. I was in my room and then I was like oh my god I'm lonely. Really truly lonely. And I started to cry. and to top it off. I'm dam horny. I need to just get it over with and have sex. Anyway I need to go to bed for work in the morning. And this heat is killing me. I miss winter and the cold. I love cold and snow. Can it hurry up and come back. Fuck the summertime.